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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23578840">19</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/rensungs/pseuds/rensungs'>rensungs</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Letters, M/M, Sad, Short &amp; Sweet, Short One Shot, for jaemin, he wrote when he was 19, renjun's letter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 21:54:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>951</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23578840</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/rensungs/pseuds/rensungs</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>renjun's letter for his best friend when they were 19</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>19</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>very short one-shot renmin fic, check out my other works and aus @/minzns on twt</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jaemin want nothing other than wanting his best friend back.</p><p>Renjun, someone who he loves the most. They made so many memories together, Renjun made him the most happiest, but why does he feel sad thinking about the memories he made back then?


</p><p>Six years, six years since Renjun has left Jaemin to pursue his career, he sure as hell feels proud for his best friend, but the fact that they can't talk anymore hurts him, it fucking hurts him.


</p><p>But him, being his selfish self, never actually read Renjun's goodbye letter for him six years ago, he was scared, he still is.

</p><p>But maybe, today is the day.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <i></i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      </i></i></p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <i></i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      </i></i></p><p>To Na Jaemin, from Huang Renjun.


</p><p>hey, you're probably mad as hell since i left without saying a word haha. i can't imagine how must it have felt waking up and the next thing you know your best friend is gone, i'm sorry.

</p><p>from the stories i told you, you know how much i loved singing, and you love it when i sing. you have been the person that has supported me since the start, and thank you, so much.

</p><p>fifteen years ago, you came into my life. we were both just lost four year olds wondering why the fuck is a human being besides me. we were both really, dumb. but i can't blame us, we were four and we were dumb as fuck. now? we're nineteen and we're still dumb, dumber, probably.

</p><p>i have made so many memories with you, jaemin. fifteen years of friendship, thank you so much, thank you so fucking much. i will treasure every single memory i made with you, this sounds like a breakup letter but we're not even together...

</p><p>but honestly? have i ever felt something non platonic with you? the answer is, yes. you're my best friend but i did want us to be more at some point, but it's obvious we're better off as friends, and i'm so sorry i'm telling you this now, seventeen year old huang renjun is just a coward who's scared to tell his feelings, same with nineteen year old huang renjun but at least he's better.

</p><p>i'm gonna start off real now. every night, we would go star gazing and talk about what's in our minds, and i would always talk about how much i loved singing, and how much i wanted to be a singer when i'm older, i just wanna say that i am now, and i hope you're proud of me. you're probably mad as hell with me right now but i hope there's a little feeling of proudness somewhere in the back of your mind, i hope you're proud of your best friend for finally reaching his dream as a singer, and i promise, if i ever write songs, each of them will be about you. i got accepted to my dream university, but yeah, it's in china, and yeah. i have to leave you, leave all my friends behind, i'm sure as hell i'm gonna miss you lots, you, jeno, mark, donghyuck, jisung. fuck i will miss you guys lots. i'm sorry it had to be this way, i wish there would be another way, i'm so sorry jaemin. i'm so sorry i broke your promise, broke <i>our promise.</i> but i believe, one day, we'll meet again some way, i'm sure. you were my first and ever best friend, jaemin. i would never want to lose you, i'd lie if i'm not crying as i'm writing this, i don't wanna leave you behind jaemin, that's the last thing i would do in my life, little huang renjun's wish was to be a singer but also be with his best friend in his entire life, and one of them came true, but i'm sorry the other one didn't. i'm sorry it had to be like this. i was planning to tell you sooner but i was scared, the others knew already. jeno and mark took it well, donghyuck didn't, jisung was very supportive of me. and i'm curious about you, either you're supportive of me and proud of your best friend, or you're mad as hell and you'd kill me if i ever come back. realistically? it's probably the second one. i'd be mad at myself too, you know. na jaemin, please don't make me leaving affect you, i'm sure i'll come back one day, i'm so sure. us meeting felt like destiny, it would be unfair of god if we won't meet ever again. you're the most amazing person i've ever met jaemin, you're incredible. you're inspiring, you're the most kindest, i'm for real. i know your dream is to be a dancer, and maybe, it'd be nice of you to choreograph one of my songs? haha i'm kidding, it would be a dream though.

</p><p>but i guess this is goodbye, again, i'm truly sorry there's no other way, i love you so much jaemin, i'll treasure every memory i made with you.

</p><p>from your best friend, huang renjun.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <i></i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      </i></i></p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <i></i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      </i></i></p><p>Jaemin was left there, crying his eyes out, he misses his best friend so much, and he knows they will meet again, he knows.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <i></i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      </i></i></p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <i></i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      </i></i></p><p>The next day felt like a usual day, nothing much. Brushed his teeth, took a shower, and be dressed. He goes out for a walk on the morning listening to songs, until he heard there was a little concert on the streets.</p><p>He took one of his earphones, hearing a note he was familiar with, followed by a voice he recognizes, he tries fo find the source, going left and right.

</p><p>And his eyes stopped at a band performing performing, specifically, the main vocalist.

</p><p>
  <i>It's you isn't it, Renjun?</i>
</p>
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